Last Minute Panic

I am nervous but happy. 

My stomach is in knots and I can hardly think straight. I wish I could just evaporate or go somewhere else. I only really want to see one person in AZ. My grandmother Mary Riddles. She is a little rough around the edges but I love her with all my heart <3. 

I'm nervous because a few of my relatives don't fully support my writing habits. They think I should get  out more. I tend to disagree. 

I plan on making a vlog on the road the link will be put up when we arrive 

Wish me luck!

    your Crazy Girl <3

untitled

Why do we bother with these desperate dreams...

Well here I am again. I atribute me being here to my best friend Carly. She is truly the best and way more than I deserve in a friend.
Sometimes life becomes so heavy it feels like I'm wearing a large bathrobe and can't get it off. These are the times I turn to suicide as an answer. I feel like Carly, my mom and my baby sister are the only people who would care at all if I were just to stop existing.  This is why I love them...
A few days ago I was feeling suicidal Carly was able to talk me down to a point were I felt safe again.

Through the Valley and over the Grapevine to Grandmothers house I go!

Well me again.

Well on thursday I am going to hit the road! Me, My mother, and siblings (most of them anyway), will be driving to glendale AZ. It's going to be my grand mothers 90th birthday party and I wouldn't miss it for the world. My grandmother is the only one of my grandparents still alive. Two of my grandparents passed away at age 90 so that makes it all the more important to be there.

Purple ink and the smell of coffee

I drew flowered vines all over my left hand in a purple pen. It was fun and realaxing in a way. I liked how they turned out :) Maybe I'll post a pic and show you.  

I dedicated my book to my bestt friend Carly She is the wind beneath my wings and she is more than I deserve. I love her like a big sister <3

In other news I sort of had a melt down a school. I was having Rec and the voices stared screaming and cursing at me. I'm happy they didn't call the cops or anything.  

EPIC GROWL

teen angst.

Why must you attack me when I need you to stay the hell away from me .-. 

Last night I was kind of suicidal. I didn't have a specific plan in mind or anything like that. I was just super depressed. I was happy that my mom was there. She made me talk to her about little things we saw that made us laugh. We teased Taylor Swift and poked fun at a few of my favorite animes. I think my mom is never going to let me give myself my medication again. I made a mistake and thats probably the reason I was so depressed. 

                with love
                    your crazy girl <3

What to do when elves attack *serious face*

Hey guys :)

I am on the hunt for a job. I want to work at Safeway but I can't because I am not yet old enough. This is a bummer because I really need the money. No one seems to be hiring anyone under the age of sixteen. My seneca worker had helped me create a fabulous resume I just cant wait for an oppertunity to use it :)
I have also started two new stories since I have finished the project I had been working on. This helps more than I can explain.
I'm also just a little worried. Lately I have been seeing more and more voices. I wonder if he bad ones will show up at some point because for now I just see the good and the useless voices. I might have to call my Phsyciatrist soon...

Till next time
-your Crazy Girl

grounded and other fun stuff

             That's right folks I am currently grounded and on computer restriction :( How did this occur you ask? All I have to say is I need to learn to filter myself. especially around my bitchy fourteen year old sister. Lets just say calling her a bunch of names and  then threatining to torch her cheer uniform dosen't o over well with Mom and Dad.  The rules of my grounding could be worse though. I am only allowed three hours of computer time a day. My sister how ever got off completely scott free.
             In other news this is the longest time since April of 2012 that I have managed to stay out of the hospital! This may not sound like much to you but for me I find that it's an acheivement c: 
             So far things are going great and I am just a little concerned about that... You see usually when good things happen for a long period of time something bad is soon to follow. I call it the calm before the storm theory. I hope everything will turn out okay. As I like to say Prepare for the worst and hope for the best :)
             

                With love,
                    your Crazy Girl <3