Why can't I see my charactets?

I wonder this frequently. It would make writing a lot easier... But sadly for me it dosent work that way. I have absolutely no control over the things I see which really sucks. If I could control that my life would be.much better
Sorry for the short post

by request My anime Boyfriends (Yes I am a sad sad child)

Deidara 

what can I say? I like em crazy and ponytailed XD

Sasori

fine it's just a little creepy that he's thirty five but I have heard of worse! He also turned himself into a human puppet ;-; Why do I have to be attracted to the weird ones?

Hidan

Cute but totally insane <3

Kakuzu

I just don't know any more ;-;

Gaara

the kazekage we all know and love <3

all of these guys belong to Masashi Kishimoto 

Please don't sue me. I have no cash ;-; I'm just a fan I have no life

Anime and my voices

     Well sorry its been so long and I have yet to follow through on my vlog ideas :/
     Today is the last day of school up until summer school. At this point in time I have amassed several anime boyfriends and love each and everyone of them to pieces much to the concern and disturbance of my friends and family.
     I think I like Anime s much because it distracts me from the voices so well <3 I wish you would understand...
     Well now I have to go.
     hugs and kisses
     all my love
     Your Crazy Girl <3

Last Minute Panic

I am nervous but happy. 

My stomach is in knots and I can hardly think straight. I wish I could just evaporate or go somewhere else. I only really want to see one person in AZ. My grandmother Mary Riddles. She is a little rough around the edges but I love her with all my heart <3. 

I'm nervous because a few of my relatives don't fully support my writing habits. They think I should get  out more. I tend to disagree. 

I plan on making a vlog on the road the link will be put up when we arrive 

Wish me luck!

    your Crazy Girl <3

untitled

Why do we bother with these desperate dreams...

Well here I am again. I atribute me being here to my best friend Carly. She is truly the best and way more than I deserve in a friend.
Sometimes life becomes so heavy it feels like I'm wearing a large bathrobe and can't get it off. These are the times I turn to suicide as an answer. I feel like Carly, my mom and my baby sister are the only people who would care at all if I were just to stop existing.  This is why I love them...
A few days ago I was feeling suicidal Carly was able to talk me down to a point were I felt safe again.

Through the Valley and over the Grapevine to Grandmothers house I go!

Well me again.

Well on thursday I am going to hit the road! Me, My mother, and siblings (most of them anyway), will be driving to glendale AZ. It's going to be my grand mothers 90th birthday party and I wouldn't miss it for the world. My grandmother is the only one of my grandparents still alive. Two of my grandparents passed away at age 90 so that makes it all the more important to be there.

Purple ink and the smell of coffee

I drew flowered vines all over my left hand in a purple pen. It was fun and realaxing in a way. I liked how they turned out :) Maybe I'll post a pic and show you.  

I dedicated my book to my bestt friend Carly She is the wind beneath my wings and she is more than I deserve. I love her like a big sister <3

In other news I sort of had a melt down a school. I was having Rec and the voices stared screaming and cursing at me. I'm happy they didn't call the cops or anything.  

EPIC GROWL

teen angst.

Why must you attack me when I need you to stay the hell away from me .-. 

Last night I was kind of suicidal. I didn't have a specific plan in mind or anything like that. I was just super depressed. I was happy that my mom was there. She made me talk to her about little things we saw that made us laugh. We teased Taylor Swift and poked fun at a few of my favorite animes. I think my mom is never going to let me give myself my medication again. I made a mistake and thats probably the reason I was so depressed. 

                with love
                    your crazy girl <3

What to do when elves attack *serious face*

Hey guys :)

I am on the hunt for a job. I want to work at Safeway but I can't because I am not yet old enough. This is a bummer because I really need the money. No one seems to be hiring anyone under the age of sixteen. My seneca worker had helped me create a fabulous resume I just cant wait for an oppertunity to use it :)
I have also started two new stories since I have finished the project I had been working on. This helps more than I can explain.
I'm also just a little worried. Lately I have been seeing more and more voices. I wonder if he bad ones will show up at some point because for now I just see the good and the useless voices. I might have to call my Phsyciatrist soon...

Till next time
-your Crazy Girl

grounded and other fun stuff

             That's right folks I am currently grounded and on computer restriction :( How did this occur you ask? All I have to say is I need to learn to filter myself. especially around my bitchy fourteen year old sister. Lets just say calling her a bunch of names and  then threatining to torch her cheer uniform dosen't o over well with Mom and Dad.  The rules of my grounding could be worse though. I am only allowed three hours of computer time a day. My sister how ever got off completely scott free.
             In other news this is the longest time since April of 2012 that I have managed to stay out of the hospital! This may not sound like much to you but for me I find that it's an acheivement c: 
             So far things are going great and I am just a little concerned about that... You see usually when good things happen for a long period of time something bad is soon to follow. I call it the calm before the storm theory. I hope everything will turn out okay. As I like to say Prepare for the worst and hope for the best :)
             

                With love,
                    your Crazy Girl <3

 Well recently I have gotten into an Anime (mainly Naruto) Phase. I just think Masashi Kishimoto is a genius. The characters he has created and the story he has woven is so interesting and seamless that it just draws you in. It's one of the best Anime's I have encountered. My by far favorite character would have to be Gaara. I seriously just want to give this guy a hug. He controls sand and is just a bit of a sociopath. He believed that no one loved him or could ever really love him for the majority of the series. Thats what the symbol above his left eye means. Love. He ground that into his face

with sand after his own uncle tried to assasinate him. He swore he would love only himself. Eventually how ever our fabulous lead character Naruto teaches him the true value of freindship and all that good Jazz. Lastly: It's not eyeliner. He was born looking like a green day fan :I




Also Orange sherbert is amazing :D 

Well thats pretty much it for now :) 

OH! forgot to mention. No voices for over three days now! Do you know how great that is?

I am in fact still alive

I'm going to start making vlogs...

Other than that I had to go to residential. Part of me wants to complain and say it sucked the other part of me wants to say i am now a better person for having that expeirence :)
MY VOICES ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE :D :D:D

I was so happy at this development 

My apologizes

I have been very busy lately. I mostly work on my book. It seems now that its one of the few.things I enjoy doing. school is going to start soon so that means I will have to cut hack on ly writing which I al not looking forward to at all. Oh well life is nothing if not full of obstacles.
Speaking of which my sister is a cheerleader now. I try to be happy for her acheivment, but now her head has swollen to massive proportions. She acts like she's too good for us little people.
I have a new.voice. he calls himself Cane. I have no idea what he looks like because he always wears a mask. He scares me. He tells me to do very very bad things that I don't want to do. He's twice as bad as tic and toc. So that's something to worry about.
Well that's all for now.

With love your crazy girl
Scathach Danu

Where does the time go

Well sorry its been such a long time since I posted anything. Things have been super busy lately. Well let me fill you in on what's been going on...

I was having anxiety attacks Which led to me getting fired. They were worried I would get hurt on the job and they would get sued. Screw them.
I went tot the hospital for attempted suicide. I got the help i needed. I even made a friend and entered a writing contest with a short story I wrote at the hospital. It isn't over yet but I hope I win something.
I can't wait for school to start. And thank you all for reading this c: 

so today I start my first real job.

Wearng : Magic charms, work shirt, jeans, boots.
Watchng : Obscurus Lupa
Readng : Mediator

'm very excited but I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn't a little scared. I'm worried that I'll get dangerous voices while on the job.
I hope this dosent happen but to be safe  wore protective charms. I'm watching funny videos.
( http://thatguywiththeglasses.com ) I'm n a pretty good mood. This is good because they say my voices are based around depresson. I think this is bull but they seem to know what their doing


More Later

Today was weird.
Watching: Avatar Legend of Korra
Eating: Jaw breaker
Wishing: I could sleep

I have a new voice. Her name is Orange. she seemed sweet enough at first until she told me t cut myself

I have a new voice.


Eating: Pie
Listening: To Greenday
Reading: My book

She calls herself Teal for some reason. She's not very sweet but she's perfectly harmless. Just a bit of a brat. the only thing that stands out about her is that her hair is, like her name, Teal. This resembles one of my other voices , blue. But I like Blue. Blue is sweet and kind.
She is again harmless just not very nice to me. In a way she reminds me of my devil spawn of a sister. She told me I was ugly and had all the grace and beauty of fresh roadkill. When you live with my sister coments like these don't really bother you.
I hope she goes away

some funny/ amazing youtube videos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbRoW1cpP6E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odvnM0WS-XU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js3_0g7ZcY8

Oh where to begin.
Eating: a carrot
Listening: to Murder city
Drinking: water

I'm on a hill
In Sonoma county
At a cabin
Because my bratty sister chased me out of the house.

So on that note I have some good news!!! the backround voices stopped. I think blogging may have really helped me. I feel much calmer and much less scared after I blog about tyem. Thanks to all of you who have been reading it! No new voices at the moment. today I just saw Cassia, Kendrick, and Red.
I'll tell you about Red later

Oh where to begin.
Eating: a carrot
Listening: to Murder city
Drinking: water

I'm on a hill
In Sonoma county
At a cabin
Because my bratty sister chased me out of the house.

So on that note I have some good news!!! the backround voices stopped. I think blogging may have really helped me. I feel much calmer and much less scared after I blog about tyem. Thanks to all of you who have been reading it! No new voices at the moment. today I just saw Cassia, Kendrick, and Red.
I'll tell you about red later